Deez Nuts
Chocolate hazelnut spread on toast. Thereâs no food that reminds me more of being a kid. Actually, I lie. PBJ might be a contender for the title. Itâs almost too close to call. Anyways⊠I digress. Flashforward to 2021. I swing by my local baker, pick up a warm, sourdough baguette or a fresh, flaky croissant and voilĂ , I have myself a worthy grown-up version of a breakfast staple. Or, you know, I could just spoon it straight out the jar and shove it directly into my cakehole.Â
Flashback to the early 1800s. The Royal Navyâs blockade against Napoleon means exotic ingredient prices are skyrocketing and supplies to the continent are depressingly throttled. Thankfully, some wiley Turinese chocolatiers have devised a solution: blending in local ground hazelnuts to stretch what little they have left of their precious cocoa stash. This hackâaffectionately dubbed âPasta Giandujaââ catches on fast and turns out to be an outrageously delicious workaround to an epicurean dilemma caused by a self-appointed emperor with short man syndrome.
Now that you know the âeatymologyâ of this spreadable joy, the real question is, where am I going with this? Well, I donât know the last time you looked at the ingredients of The Brand That Shall Not Be Named... but it ainât pretty. Palm oil? Really? In 2021?! More palm oil than hazelnuts? WTF? SMH. LOL! NWJ. No way, JosĂ©. The OG Piedmontese Architects Of Amazing would scoff at this sacrilege, I have no doubt.
Chocolate should be naughty, not evil. And honestly, I donât want to be bumming out about deforestation and animal welfare while Iâm lashing luscious layers of love onto my leavened loaves. Who invited the party-poopers? To me, itâs all about steadily making small, incremental changes that, over time, add up to something meaningful. Iâm sure you feel the same way. In fact, Iâd bet my hazelnuts on it.